My holiday went amazingly well. Probably helped by really Good Uncle Val’s Gin and some Provigil. My mind was alert, my family was loving, and the food was incredible. Daughter roasted oysters and a GIANT ASS prime rib, cost them $150 for the MEAT. It was an incredible beast. We roasted oysters outside on the smoker. The big ass smoker. Everyone stood/sat on porch, talking and laughing. Sharing food is the best way to share love.

It wasn’t about gifts. It was about fellowship.

now here’s your funny, right now its #1 trending topic on Facebook, over 300K shares and money being raised in $5 increments. Wonder how much $$ he’ll raise.

https://www.gofundme.com/support-tunnels-under-trumps-wall

yup, GoFundMe to support tunnels under Trump’s wall. Very clever. Fund’s owner says to give to ACLU, it’s a better use of your money.

It’ll be time to go to daughter’s house to help with creation of “den” out of old bedroom. Furniture to be moved means lots of dust bunnies to conquer and probably loads of dog/cat hair. Not looking forward to it but they asked for our help, so we go. We’re going to need #1 grandson in a few days to remake our bed, so they’ll be some task sharing going on.

Got Christmas email from friend on Christmas Eve and it made my melancholy go away. I was feeling kinda’ alone around 10 pm, when I really should have been getting ready for bed but instead watched the Dr. Who Christmas episode marathon on BBC television. Such great episodes, classics. I miss my parents during the holidays. They always made them so special. We’d leave on the 26th to drive from Arkansas to Ohio and stay until New Year’s Day. We’d always drive back in the middle of all that traffic, but Daddy handled it like a pro.

It’s funny, I never felt reduced by that abrupt departure for the land of cousins, I felt joyous. Always nervous, always anxious, each year my cousins (aunt/uncle) greeted us with such joy. We would have such fun, usually going downtown Cincinnati at least one time, just to see the fountain and to go out to eat somewhere with white tablecloths and fancy food. I remember ordering spaghetti almost every time but my brother would grouse because he couldn’t get a cheeseburger and my dad would cajole him into something else. These weren’t the years of kid menus, this was before all that, the 1960s. No fast food in my childhood. We always went to real restaurants.

Daddy loved his food. If they went on a trip, say to Berlin or somewhere exotic like Maui, he would always come back and tell us what he ate. Mom, charged with telling us all they did, all they saw, would just smile as he told of ice cream or some weird food dish … she was not impressed, nor was Daddy come to think of it, by the food in Berlin. This was the year before the Wall came down.

Now there’s a thought… how well did that Wall work out for the populations on either side of it. Why do we celebrate the destruction of the Berlin Wall while arguing we need to build one on  our southern border. Makes no sense to me. Walls are oppression, giant signs of oppression. Tear down that wall… and all that.

Mom and Dad said the Berlin Wall was quiet imposing. Daddy got stopped by security, going through the metal detectors (in 1985, I think) because he had steel-toed shoes. I don’t know what he was thinking … but it scared the hell out of them both. Apparently he was held at gun point until they figured out where the signal came from. They also visited CheckPoint Charlie, not even sure if that still exists. When traveling into East Berlin, they were only able to go to a restaurant, Daddy said you didn’t tip there and the service was awful because of it. No incentive to take care of the customer.

Now Hawaii was another story! Daddy didn’t like poi and he talked about the Spam, they went to the University of Hawaii for some classes in native arts. Most everywhere they traveled, it was a learning experience, a trip done by ElderHostel. The service is still available, only now it’s called RoadScholar and it’s quite expansive. I looked at trips you can take with grandchildren, age appropriate journeys that seem quite wonderful. I’ll probably never go on one with the boys, but it would be something to do if we ever got VA money. R seems convinced we will, he won’t give up on it. I, on the other hand, have stopped believing in good things and am concentrating on living in the now, with what we have now.

We’ll have limited funds to take care of house so we must choose our repairs wisely. We need new outside siding replaced and obviously the house needs painting but we won’t be able to afford that. We’ll get Aaron to help replace the bathroom floor, once we have Jerry replace, or simultaneously replace, the toilet in there. The floor is squishy and the toilet is definitely leaking. We have no idea when the one will get here, the Social Security statement we received said they were “holding it” with no mention of dispersal. Apparently there’s a 120 limit, which puts us in late spring for it. The monthly payments of social security disability were changed to the 3rd of the month and now coincide with the usual social security disability payments we are accustomed to… so far it looks as if we’ll get to keep our EBT going but I doubt that will exist into 2019. Just a feeling, I don’t take anything for granted any more.

We’re going to give C4 $100 month, in cash, by the 5th of the month, so she can budget for it. I think her dad’s giving her a bit each month too, so maybe she can hang on. She’s filed for disability, but we all know that takes years. She’s so sick right now, I’m really worried. She will wear a heart monitor for 2 weeks to try to figure out why she gets so dizzy upon standing. Her B/P is normal so there’s concern for vascular (?) problems associated with the EDS. The doctor thinks it POTS, which is not uncommon  in someone with EDS. Bless her, I wish I could do more for her. Her failing business isn’t helping any and I fear she’ll walk away from it soon.

We received $150 gift card from Amazon from JA for Christmas. Bought a metal bed frame for us, now we can get the mattress/box springs off the floor. They’ve been on the floor, we got rid of the bed because the slats were bad on it — but mostly we got rid of the bed because Thompson was too old and ill to jump up on it. He’s been dead for a couple years now, so it’s time to go back to grown up bed construction. The frame cost around $80 and I ordered a set of sheets to go with it, they were another $70. Good sheets are really hard to find on Amazon. So many of the ones for sale are cheap microfiber and not 100% cotton. Hence the expense. You can buy $35 sheets all day long but if you read the comments, you know they’re shit. I found some manufactured in India with GOT certification which means some kind of organic, nature friendly, real cotton signifier. I just hope they’re decent because returning them will be a hassle, it is always a hassle to return stuff.

I really thought for a long time on what to spend the money on … clothes, shoes, an Instant Pot, then I realized what we needed, just by surfing around and spending time knowing I don’t need any new clothes and my shoes are sufficient. I bought a new pair of Skechers’s boots a while back and while they’re a bit uncomfortable, they look really nice and I can handle wearing them.

Neighbor Peggy had a giant Christmas gathering of many family members. I went over there to deliver her present, trash removal for another year, and she showed off the card, telling everyone how thrilled she was to receive it. She had carpal tunnel surgery on the 4th and I need to remember to coordinate some meals or whatever with her daughter. She’s 80, don’t expect her to bounce back but I keep telling her, lying of course, that my surgery went well and I was able to use my hand in the cast. The truth is my basal thumb surgery turned bad, went awful, kept me in bed for 6 weeks because I couldn’t move my hand, not a bit, because the pin they placed in it kept moving and the surgeon/PA didn’t believe me. They’d take X-rays and tell me it was in place. God almighty it hurt. I took a lot of pain pills back then and nothing helped. I finally begged them to take the pin out and they did but not until weeks of pain had gone by.

Peggy’s carpal tunnel is a different kind of surgery. She’s having it here in town. I wonder if she wants me to take her? Nah, her daughter will do it.

D is back on the active list for liver transplant surgery. Don’t know how they are affording all that’s going on with him but he has Medicare and that should be covering lots of it. I know C had to raise $5K just to get him on the list. I continue to pray for his recovery and his going back on the active list is such a great sign of maybe maybe maybe his recovery. His kidneys have shut down in reaction to the liver failure, but it is supposed they will be ok once he gets his transplant. He’s on dialysis now. He’s also in Duke, not local, can’t imagine what a toll that is taking on C. He must be very lonely. He had a tablet, last time I visited him in local hospital, but said it was too heavy to hold. I hope he can hold it now because I know he enjoys silly games like those bubble smash things, the candy whatever games.

On our way to J/A’s to help with the den. It’s a labor of love, we certainly don’t get anything out of it except the satisfaction of helping someone do something they can’t do without us.

I guess that’s what life’s really about, isn’t it?

onward and upward, will write more soon. If you’re reading this, know it is my journal, my stream of consciousness fun time.

 

 

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