My neighbors have a beagle puppy that screams. It’s hysterical. I’m sure they think we’re annoyed by the sound but we find it quite amusing. This dog is truly full on beagle. Every time the “parents” come home and the baby hears the car, he/she begins to howl like bloody murder. We think it sounds like Moooooooommmmmeeee. ha.
We have a true problem. I mean a big one. A neighbor’s 12 year old son is bored, has no friends and has latched onto us. We knew it was bad, his random dropping by EVERY DAY after school and for hours and hours last weekend but this morning, Saturday, he came over at 8:30 a.m. Yes, you read that right. He dropped by, uninvited at 8:30 this morning. Rob didn’t know what to do. I have to stop the whole thing and am unsure how to do it.
I don’t want to lose my neighbor’s friendship. She is a funny woman, full of energy and zip and get up and go but she is as clueless as her son about what’s going on around her. I won’t give examples, just trust me on this. Now when it comes to her son coming over, she encourages it. Finds old board games he can bring over for us to play. I imagine she was still asleep when he came over today.
I had to convince R that he could sit in the living room and not be interrupted by the boy but low and behold, this morning the kid shows up, can see R through the living room door and blammo, now R is nervous and upset. I had to give him an Ativan to calm his nerves. Can’t have that … just can’t have it.
We are afraid he will make up a story, something horrid, about us or R in particular, if he becomes upset with us. Yes, the kid is whacko. He is violent with his mother, she told me the other day that she slapped him because his attitude was so bad and she should have slapped him harder. I didn’t respond to the text because I was horrified.
I figure if he comes by any time soon, like today soon, I will have to be the adult in the situation and say, “Stephen, we’re busy today. We can’t see you,” and then close the door. Why are we so afraid of this kid? Because he knows too much. Because he says sexual comments on the bus that O says are so inappropriate that no one will talk to him. Comments about sucking someone, comments so horrid O couldn’t repeat them and saying the comment above embarrassed O to the core of his being. He says the kid is just weird and O is very tolerant, very kind about everyone (except this kid).
The mother repeated one of the inappropriate comments to me the other day and laughed and laughed about it. So she encourages his behavior. This scares me even more. He’s being punished and rewarded for the wrong things. And the flip side is, it’s none of my business to know any of this. I am not his family. I am not raising him. How she raises him should be none of my concern. I shouldn’t even be aware of his consequences, his circumstances — not like I’m going to call social services on them.
I’m sure he knows R is fragile, I’m sure she’s told him more than he should know about our situation. I’m sure she knows too much about J and A, since we’ve had some deep conversations when she’s sane and acted like a true friend. Oh well. It cuts me to have to shut off her kid but I have to do it.
No 63 year old woman should have to entertain a 12 year old, unless it’s her grandson, eh? It’s not right to be a 12 year old’s best friend. I’m sorry he’s lonely, that he’s made no friends, but he is what he is and he’s not mine to raise.
Why does he make me so nervous? I have to admit I’m scared of making the kid angry. I think he’s capable of making up crazy stories, not that he ever has, not that he’s made one iota of a move in that direction … but he just plain scares me. I know what E is capable of, and he uses his powers for good most of the time and I see a lot of common behaviors in this kid. The ability to spin wild and elaborate lies out of bits of truth.
J didn’t help when she reacted with horror at the fact the kid was here alone with R. Of course, the whole time they were together, R stayed on front porch.
Oh and the reason the kid wants to be here? TV and the internet. He’s denied both at home as punishment for bad attitude, for not doing his chores. I’m in favor of such regulation but if you don’t give a kid something else to do, you’re only fostering the behaviors we’re seeing in him. Aggression, attention-seeking, boredom and more. He’s a smart kid, too. Makes good grades, apparently.
He bullies his 80 year old grandparents, physically and emotionally. I think they’re afraid of him… although they just make disapproving faces. He breaks things at their house and makes them very upset. 80 years old and the mom expects them to be taxi service to son while she works or goes to her own “adventures” like taking pottery classes or small engine repair classes at local community college. She seeks nighttime adventures, and her son is expected to stay home alone or with grandparents.
What a mess! It wasn’t our problem until last weekend when he stayed here for hours, we even fed him. I did’t see it as a problem in the making, how naive I am.
Well… will let yall know where this goes. For now, I have to calm R down, make him not be afraid of the kid, give him the tools to say Go Home to him. I think the main thing we say is that we’re working so we don’t have time for him right now. Say that every time. We’re working. But wait, it’s not good to leave a positive “maybe” hanging out there. If we leave it hanging, we invite him over — in his mind — there’s still an opening. Come by later is implied. Can’t have any maybe in the later scenario.
It’s tough being an adult. It’s rough being a 12 year old boy. I am the adult. He’s a kid and not my kid at at that. I think I’ll go take a shower.